1. Season 4 of Yellowstone because I am channeling Beth Dutton as a muse and I NEED to know what is next in that series.
2. I love the poem in this prompt. The THIS. I live so much in the THIS of my life and realizing that today in a really deep way makes me really happy.
The Gate
By Marie Howe
I had no idea that the gate I would step through
to finally enter this world
would be the space my brother's body made. He was
a little taller than me: a young man
but grown, himself by then,
done at twenty-eight, having folded every sheet,
rinsed every glass he would ever rinse under the cold
and running water.
This is what you have been waiting for, he used to say to me.
And I'd say, What?
And he'd say, This—holding up my cheese and mustard sandwich.
And I'd say, What?
And he'd say, This, sort of looking around.
3. I found a new to me Johanna Lindsey paperback at the thrift and I was surprised because I thought I had read everyone she ever wrote and I am waiting until Sigourney's scar is healed enough to sink into the bathtub and read it for hours.
4. I am taking all the colours from a peacock feather and applying them to feature walls in my apartment and that sharp clear green is next. Maybe behind my bed or one wall in my studio. Excited to go to the paint store with my feather and find it.
5. I miss holding hands with someone. That Guy and I held hands all the time. I have actually never had a BF that wasn't a hand holder and I won't. It's a non negotiable for me and I do not give a fuck at how difficult that makes me sound.
6. How my ankles look has become the litmus test of what my body needs more and less of and it's only since peri meno and it's fascinating to me.
7. I posted a while ago asking why no one knits all black afghans and how this could be a thing for people like me and my neighbour and friend across the street is knitting me one and she texted the other day and said iti is half done! Took her awhile to find the yarn because I can't have angora, wool, alpaca, mohair, or certain types of cashmere lol.
8. We had that week that felt like summer and then the rain came back so I am waiting for the sun. I feel like I am ALWAYS waiting for the sun and the heat. It's my deepest longing I think.
9. I really love how much space I have. There is something so freeing about no clutter of any kind and it's not minimalism because I love layers and I think minimalism is one of those things that is celebrated if you are rich and mocked if you are poor much like van life or RV life is but this is space from the purge of what doesn't meet me where I am right now. Purge of actual stuff and digital stuff and relationships and expectations of me. I get to just be in this space and I created it and it feels so good.
10. My to do list that I have to make for my brain to function that I write on the inside cover of my planner has only a few things left on it and when I began my re-entry from debilitating grief and pain and surgeries that list was so whelming. It was a list that went above my normal work and living. But now it's finish taxes and finish dental work and ship the packages and find a good accounting/budgeting app and source a new vaccuum that lola nd I won't kill with our fur and this is all nothing compared to that list of previous years and actually seems doable. Crossing Sigourney off it was a MOMENT because that bitch has been carried over on a few planners.
Musings are from Isabel’s writing sanctuary Begin (Again).
(day 28 of Effy’s Blog along)