. . I am obsessed with the relationship between Beth and Rip on Yellowstone. There is a scene where Beth sleeps in and she wakes up to a breakfast Rip makes for her. He sits her at the table and serves it and she says "what about you?" and he says "I ate hours ago." She takes a bite and covers her mouth with her hand while she chews and he gently leans over and removes her hand and her eyes get teary because she trusts him but has no experience being vulnerable and it's so fucking tender and I can't stop thinking about it.
. if you spend your first date(s) talking about how your last relationships ended that sets a different energy. I am an adamant no opening of the ex-files dater. Obviously little bits and pieces will pop up, especially in a co-parent situation but other than that. nope. I don't want to know.
. "At the end of the day a bunch of likes and follows don't make you feel better about yourself. The entire concept of "influencers" is to make you feel worse about yourself. It's to say "look at this lavish life I live, look at these amazing vacations I go on, look at these wonderful products I use. This is not fame. This is an infomercial host hawking a product and it's so fake. The amount of followers becomes the fame." - Fake Famous documentary. so interesting and you should watch because it really tells a story about this culture. It's giving the wrong people opportunities and I hate it.
. I still have that one pile of paperwork to finish. the sloth-like way I am doing this is upsetting but I cannot focus for the life of me and everything I need to complete other things on my list sits in that pile so its a merry go round of fuckery. I loathe paperwork with a passion that makes me want to hurl everything into the sun and go off grid.
. If i was ever on stage for anything my backdrop would be a night sky and full moon. I don't know why knowing that is important but it is.
. Cardi B's IG story of her scrubbing her bathtub before she uses it was the realest.
. I read an abuse story of a wee cat that shattered me and won't leave my mind and I want to hunt the people down but the cat was found in time and is healing beautifully and is in a loving home and has a million adoption requests and the people were charged but I can't stop thinking about it and I want all the abused and forgotten animals to love with me and Lola because Lola was forgotten so she gets it and we will love them.
. I am glad I didn't stay with the text app. I didn't realize how sacred my phone notifications are. I don't have notification on 99% of my apps turned on but texts are always on because that is where my closest circle lives. I realized I don't need to be in touch like that even though I enjoy the messages I get. I will however be starting newsletters again like I did when I wrote weekly. As soon as I clear up this paperwork.
. The next doctor that says BMI to me without a single fucking conversation is going to get cobratothethroat because it is this exact reason I am where I am.
. I wish I knew when season 2 of P-Valley was starting.