LolaVision...
My ten in response to Isabel Abbott’s Feed Me writing sanctuary. The questions were: What do I want to keep writing about? what is there more of? What does it feel like to be really well fed?
1. I want to be everyone's fabulous maiden aunt. Eccentric, wealthy, witch adjacent, fabulously dressed and full of secrets. I want to be the one you come to when you need relationship advice and your friends are too invested. The one who sends money for vet bills and your security deposit and those limited edition sneakers that just launched. I want to hear about the trip to Paris you have planned and I want to give you money so you can eat wherever you want and see everything you want to see. I want someone to leave all my kimonos, evening bags, clutches, rosaries, jewels, and vintage lingerie collection too. When you visit my apartment and see a decor piece you love I want to say it's yours when I die.
2. I have decorated the inside of a vintage tv cabinet like a disco and I have called it LolaVision. I painted the inside gold and added twinkle lights, a sex kitten poster, velvet and fur pillows, a fur rug and a disco ball. The only thing I DIDN'T have for this project was the disco ball. It serves no purpose and i hurt myself getting in and out of it the opening but it makes me deliriously happy and this year if it makes me happy I am fucking doing it.
3. Ventured onto Tinder to see what the fuck was out there even though i have NO plans to meet anyone during a pandemic and I lasted less than 3 hours and ended my evening scrolling lesbian TikTok like I always do.
4. There is a trend on twitter (I think it started on Black twitter) to call the pandemic by different names that sound the same and it really feeds my dark humour. J-Lo did a failed) challenge to celebrate the 20 year anniversary of Love Don't Cost a thing and the challenge took place outdoors and the responses had me crying. "We are in the middle of a - pandora-panderosa-pan de queso-panini-panaderia-panoramic-phantasia-Pon de Replay-pandemonium-parallelogram-papas fritas-peninsula-panagram-pasta primavera-paella and you want us to go OUTSIDE?" its the funniest things to me.
5. Why didn't Tom Hanks open that one package in Cast Away?
6. Hornswaggled. Bewitched. Bamboozled. Hoodwinked. Enchanted. - it is my mission to incorporate all of these words into daily conversation.
7. Stuff. Why do we have it? Why do we keep it? How do we store it? Where did we get it? What is it? Who wants it? As the Purge tour begins to take shape from a massive jumble of notes this is what keeps coming up that I ask over and over and over.
8. Why do we want to be flawless? That is the marketing angle for everything that targets my age group. I am 53. Why is that considered "the goal".
9. What are we apologizing for? and why? When did we decide to feel shame to the point of apology for standards we didn't set? Why do we need to apologize for dirty dishes and unmade beds and messy hair and hairy legs and sweatpants and not being able to afford it and and and and...
10. I love letter openers because they used to call them envelope knives and I support everyday things that are weapons and I especially love vintage ones because i think they have stories because envelopes contain news. Good and bad and lovely and sweet and shocking and titillating and certainty and decision making news. So these openers that were used on this mail delights me in a weird way that I love about myself.