. I listen to WAP daily and watch all the videos I can find on it and I do it obsessively because all the backlash pisses me off.
. making lists of what heals.
. i am so annoyed by men who think that they need a badge of courage for standing up to other men as they harass us. i hear this so often from guys who notallmen and who wear the badge of feminist. why do you need undying thanks? You fucking benefit hard from this culture. you don’t get thanks for standing up for us like you are doing us a favour.
. i am not eating well. i can feel it in my skin and my ankles and my blood.
. summer seems to have come back. it’s hot and i am here for it.
. i am craving something and can’t nail down what it is. this is directly related to my shit eating habits the last week. ugh the circle.
. checklists are life saving. i used to be anti list and now I can’t imagine.
. long talks with my S.O.
. watched some mad men and always remember a line Roger said and it is "Since when is forgiveness a better quality than loyalty." and that drives me. I am not a forgiver. I move on. I make peace. I even sometimes forget but the forgiveness gene does not live in me. I have been easily discarded my entire life which is fucked cause when i love someone they stay loved but I know what loyalty looks like to me and that doesn't mean I stick around for abuse or ignore accountability but that word, loyalty to myself and my relationships has served me far more than forgiveness every did.