. I found a new little bag at work yesterday and it is the softest palest pink covered in tiny beads. The lining is white satin with a wee little pocket. There is a small black stain on the white satin like whoever owned it didn't quite put the lid back on the pen she used when she gave out her phone number. I love that little detail. Using tiny evening bags as wallets is one of my fave things. Actual wallets feel so grown up and so very much unlike me. Zippered compartments and a place for everything and everything is in its place. That is so not my life. My mother had one of those wallets. Most of my friends have those wallets. I have tried but have never been able to pull it off. My wallets have always been vintage bags and have never been "organized" and for a Virgo that says a lot. I use these instead because I know these bags went somewhere fun at some point. To a ball, a party, a wedding. The owner dressed up. There was anticipation. I want that energy and abundance to hold my money.
. This week's desk flowers are very Dr. Suess truffala tree inspired. I chose them myself because they were sold out of the mini bouquets. One yellow ball and a large green fuzzy ball and a branch of orange balls. I keep staring at it wondering how nature made them and how did they end up on my desk here in East Van.
. Looking at my little fireplace under the tv and I know it must be painted matte black. Vignetted with plants in clay pots, my gold Mary lamp, the brass lion and black iron candlesticks with white candles because while I am not a witch, I AM witch adjacent and I love that magical moody aesthetic.
. I emptied out the rattan dresser that used to be in that spot and there are 5 drawers of stuff that is just stuff. 3 of them are his so those will go with him (I'll have to pack it though sigh) but the other two are mine. I wonder about the details of what I keep. I know the more room I have the more I keep. The more bins and dressers and closets I have the more I keep. The more I STORE. What is storage anyway? Why does the concept of storage exist? When did life become so full that society created an entire industry to contain it, organize it, and manage it. Where did this stuff come from?
. What are the details of my home? What do I need and what do I want? Why is stuff gathered just to be put away? Where is away? Why do we do that? Get things to put them away. Where is the space, ease and simplicity in the details of my home without the battle for room? What does that look like for me when all HIS stuff is gone?
. I have 4 nap blankets folded over the arm of my couch. All white and cream. One of the things I know for sure is that different moods, seasons, time of day, and body pain all REQUIRE a different nap blanket. When I purge after he is gone they will stay. Forever.
. We cuddled as the sun came up this morning. I was holding her little paw. It's a bigger paw than I imagine a cat her size should have. Is it so she can run wild in the snow without falling in? Little floofy built in snowshoes. Assuming she is the Viking shield maiden cat I imagine her to be and has DNA that hails from places there was snow. DNA similar to my Icelandic side because like mother like daughter. Her toe beans are black and there is long floof between her toes that I call her bean sprouts. She is doing happy feet. Claws out claws in. Over and over. Purring ever so lightly. That kneading that is done as kittens while milking never goes away. Content. I could have stayed there forever.
. I can feel the tip of a chin hair that needs plucking. They are coming in grey now which makes it harder to get because I can't see them but I run my finger over it, again and again, wondering why we get beard hair as we age.
. Why does adding an "s" onto belonging change the energy of it into something so heavy?
musings from give over to the details prompt in Isabel’s writing sanctuary